Tuesday, April 19, 2011


I believe that the word “Mr Right” by young ladies who want a perfect gentleman is highly over rated.
Every female has this dream to find a perfect man. Some girls have this need to have a financially stable and secure husband. This is a physical need. Not every handsome man is a perfect man, every less than average handsome man is not supposed to be the perfect man either. In terms of being financially stable, money comes and money goes hut either way money is very important in a relationship. Instead of calling it money, I would call it financial stability. If the man is not financially stable, a wedding is not ready to take place and definitely the marriage that comes after having a wedding ceremony.
Marriage and wedding are two different things, one is permanent and the other isn’t, Marriage is supposed to be the permanent one and the wedding is temporary. The wedding ceremony, the fun at the reception lasts but one day but what happens after the wedding? Marriage. Marriage is an institution by itself and it is supposed to last for a lifetime and this happens to those who are fortunate.
Some are compelled to get married because their peers are getting married, this is most especially of so many ladies, they have been bridesmaids in five or six different weddings and now their mothers are asking them, “when are other people coming for your wedding?” Others will keep picking from a selection of men especially to find the perfect one. I will tell you, No man will ever be perfect before you marry them, it will probably take you a lifetime to make a man perfect which is almost impossible, it’s just like telling a leopard to change its spots but I believe in the power of prayer.
I once dated this dude who just wanted to get married, that’s all he could think of was get married.
“Oh babe let’s get married tomorrow, oh babe I wish we could get married tonight.” All that was wishful thinking because it never happened.
Stability in both mental and physical areas of life need to be established. I would not date anyone who is not spiritually stable or financially stable. It might not sound fair but if the guy’s intentions are to take me to the altar, he had better have a job and a real good one for that matter.
Some of my mates want a handsome man, with a dashing car especially a new model and he also has to be on a six figure salary (in their wildest dreams) and so many fantasies. These are lovely thoughts but what will happen if the man is disabled, will he still be attractive to you, what if one of your jealous ex girlfriend pours acid on him, would you still find him attractive, what if he crashed his car on the freeway and he had no insurance and he buys a bucket would you still ride with him? If he got laid off from his six figure paying job and he started living on Social security or living off you, would you still bear him, these are very uncomfortable questions; it is very tempting to say yes, but it is really hard.
Sometimes you would wake up one morning and ask yourself why you are stuck with someone who looks like the character of the beast from “The Beauty and The Beast”, has a legedesbenz (on foot) and seems to share similarities with the life of a beggar and your friends will tell you “Why are you still with that man?, He has nothing to offer you”. Beware of such friends, people like that like to give advice that they cannot act on. When you go to his house, you look in the fridge he has no food, just water, you get tempted to cuss him out but how? Will you be in the relationship out of self pity, because he did you one favour in the past? Or you have made vows and you are scared of the consequences of breaking those vows. Hmm, Food for thought.

Have you ever thought of being Mrs Right?
Mrs Right is the right lady. Enough said.
Not too many women have this perspective in mind; they just want to be a lucky bride, who then is Mrs Right.
Have you ever wondered why men don’t search for ladies anymore? Because women are too busy searching for men up to the point where they settle for anything and anyone just to be with someone. Out of pressure, they think to themselves, “He is the one”.
Females, have you gotten your degree, a damn good job, do you have a spiritual life, and do you have harmony and balance in your life? Can you balance your check book at the end of the month and still go on vacation? Can you spend a whole month without borrowing money from your friends, family and savings? Have you ever thought of working at becoming a person for yourself without relying on the presence of another person? Why do you think men don’t want “gold diggers” and “limited liabilities” for themselves? Have you ever thought of why men chase women who have got it covered physically and end up marrying a “good girl” (morals, money, beauty),because what was given to them was offered on a platter of gold. “Who will buy the cow when the milk is free?” Really why buy the cow when the dairy milk comes free every day. That same guy will dump you and get the girl behind you. When you can fulfill all the requirements of a perfect person only then will you become someone’s Mrs Right. Trust me, Men will come in their flock

Monday, April 18, 2011


I had a great workout at the gym that morning and i was on my way home when i decided to go to the antique store down the street. it had been open for quite a while but i just never walked in. it was about three blocks from my house so i just decided to walk in. There was a short lady standing by the door, i smiled and greeted her but she seemed distant and cold. I walked around and i felt her eyes following me and i looked up to see what she was doing and indeed her eyes were following me. I  asked her for the price of one of the antique lamps and she told me "Cost too much". I turned and looked at her as if i did not hear what she said. Her face had a firm look. There were no prices on anything, absolutely nothing, she could be ripping me off for all she cared if she decided to tell me the prices to her merchandise. Suddenly a well dressed lady walked in and she left me and went to attend to her, her mannerism had totally changed, she had no cold look, she was friendly and the word ",maam" kept popping out of her lips like song lyrics. She had suddenly ignored me because i looked like a bum that fell out from nowhere. I quietly left her shop and went home. What she did to me bothered me. I really wanted that lamp and she told me that it cost too much. I must have really looked like someone who couldn't afford it.
The next week i went back to the antique shop but not in my workout outfit but during my lunch break in my professional work clothes looking like a female Donald Trump.  Kenisha hooked my Indi Remi weave up real good. I looked real good, my make up was on point. I parked my Mercedes Benz right in front of the store and walked in. The same lady was standing by the door and smiled as i walked in. The word "Maam" was rolling in like nothing. I walked to where the antique lamp i liked was and picked it up. I asked her how much it cost and she told me it was $350. I smiled and took it to the register. She asked me if i found everything okay and i calmly responded positively.I waited for her to ring me up and she put it in the bag. I brought out the money, three one hundred dollar bills and a fifty dollar bill. She reached out and wanted to take the money from me. I pulled the money out of her reach, and she looked at me in surprise. Her reaction to my behavior made me crack up.
"Do you remember me?" i asked
She shook her head.
"Obviously you won't. I came here last week and asked you how much it cost and you told me it cost too much, do you remember that?" i asked her almost in rage.
"Don't remember." she responded in denial. She was about to lose a sale and was perplexed.
"Of course you won't you idiot" i told her as i took my Louis Vuitton purse and my posh self and walked of of her store.

Friday, April 1, 2011


He kept calling me.
Maxwell kept calling me.

I don’t know why because after the fifteenth call, he should have given up. I stood him up last night. We were supposed to go to Cheesecake Factory for dinner but I didn’t show up. I was in one of those moods where I would fling a china dish on someone. It wasn’t PMS. My voice mail box is full. I deliberately left my mail box full because all these telemarketers would not let me see the life of day so they might as well call and not have to deal with my voicemail. Maxwell and I had been seeing each other for about nine months and he is the only man that I have dated that I treat like crap. My laundry list of men left me with too many wet hankies and he is my revenge. Unfortunately I think the fact that I am mean to him is a turn on and God knows how many beautiful material possessions I have acquired in nine months, one of which includes a $500 pair of Gucci sunglasses. No matter what I do to Maxwell he keeps coming over and calling me. Two weeks ago my cousin told me to stop being mean and just love him back and then I thought about it for the first time. Love didn’t cross my mind and I am definitely not in love with him.

I strolled into work by 9.30am. I was fashionably late. I had to take my neighbor to the airport and there was traffic on I 101 on my way back. My co workers stared at me like I was crazy. Their fake smiles never ceased to amaze me and I still haven’t gotten over the bathroom incident. The LED light on my office phone was flashing. I had a new message. I pressed the “play button”

“Hey, I have been trying to reach you, called your cell phone so many times, your voicemail is full, I had to call you at work and you are still not picking up. Can I see you today at 1pm? Please show up, it is very important. I will be at Red Lobster, our usual spot. See you.”

Why is he still wasting his time? If I didn’t show up last night, why should I show up this afternoon? Anyway, I guess I would go and just have free lunch on him. I picked up the phone and called him back. It went straight to voicemail. Oh well. I left him a message letting him know I would show up.

At 12.35pm , I left the office and drove to Red Lobster. I wasn’t excited to go over there or nothing; I just wanted a free meal and have the opportunity to look at the handsome man that I am not in love with. I pulled up to the parking lot at 12.58pm, right on time and spotted his Camaro in the parking lot. He was there, always on time. I checked my make up, my mascara wasn’t running and my lipstick was on point. I did the pout and stepped out of the car. No one needs to tell me I look dashing and hot in my Anne Klein suit, my 12 inch Remi was blowing in the wind. Haha!!!

He was already seated with the Menu in his hand when I joined him. He was sipping from his glass of water.

“Hey” I began.

“Hey, you look great.” He said smiling.

“Thank you.” I responded.

“So what’s good?”

“You didn’t show up last night” he said

“Oh that, I am sorry, I had a headache and fell asleep” I responded and looked at him. The look on his face told me that he didn’t believe me, he said nothing. We pored over our menu’s and then ordered some food. Thirty minutes later our waiter brought our food. I loved my tall glass of coke with ice that was my usual. I started sipping from it while I ate. Maxwell was quiet but he kept watching me. I felt like he poisoned me or something, he just kept staring at me as if he was looking for a reaction.

“What’s wrong?” I asked breaking the silence.

“Nothing” he replied. “Are you enjoying your meal?”

“Yes” I said.

I kept sipping from my drink and then I noticed something sparkle from the ice. I took a closer, in the middle of the ice in my half way drunk coke was a ring. Oh my goodness. I looked at Maxwell and he smiled.

“A ring” I blurted out because I was out of breath. It was the most beautiful ring. Princess cut. My dream engagement ring. The diamonds sparkled. I took the ring out of the glass and Maxwell took it from me and went down on one knee.

“Baby, I may not be your dream man but I am in love with you, I see you taking care of my home and being the mother to my children and also my friend. You are a great woman and I want to take care of you forever, will you be my wife?.” He said. Replay. I looked around there was a curious lady staring at me with her boyfriend.Oh my goodness, I am not even in love with this fool but like my grand mother would say love grows if you let it. You cultivate it and let it grow. He will provide me security not like I cant afford to take care of myself and he is in love with me, the best thing that has happened since I started dating men. He loves me and proves it all the time even when I treat him like a damn retard.

“Yes” I found myself saying. The lady and her boyfriend clapped.

He got up and gave me a hug. I expected a kiss, like in the movies, it was romantic and beautiful this one was just, ughh. Anyway he slipped the ring in my finger and it fit perfectly. Now I know why whenever he held my hand he was always playing with that finger.

Hyperventilating was an understatement. I was out of control. He sat down.

“I am so excited, I need to tell my family.” I said as I took out my I Phone.

“Not so fast, lets fix a date.” He said.

“Maybe next year.” I said.

“ 90 days from now” he said, I can afford the wedding.

“Waoh” I said breathless. “It is like a dream”

“ Best believe it is happening, so honey we could get married this summer 90 days from now” he replied.

“Oh okay.” I replied.

“So honey lets count 90days from now, what is todays date?” he asked me. I looked on my cell phone. He had a smirk on his face and smiled wickedly. Oh no, this wasn’t happening.

“April 1st” I replied slowly. I had just been fooled.