Tuesday, December 22, 2015


After the kitchen incident, Adaeze avoided me like a plague. She was very cold to me and even though it made me feel uncomfortable, I felt it was one of the best things that had happened in a long time. There was no one to sneak in on me unexpectedly as if she was hoping to find me doing something wrong. I did my duties diligently. Ogochukwu had taught me how to use the washing machine and the dryer. I cooked delicious meals that I knew Lady J liked. It was her turn to host the next meeting and I was overwhelmed with shopping at the market, cleaning the house and cooking. Olisa also had a change in attitude towards me. He used to pop into the kitchen randomly to check on me , all that changed after the kitchen incident.
One Afternoon, I was folding clothes upstairs when I heard the doorbell ring. I went down the stairs. Olisa was watching television on the sofa with the remote control in his hand. I walked towards the huge front door and looked through the peephole. It was a young lady standing outside, I opened the door and she sized me up.
"Hello who are you here to see?." I asked. I had never seen her before today. Adaeze had gone back to campus and Ogochukwu hadn't been home in weeks.Maybe she was here to see Lady J.
"I am here to see Daniel " she responded. There was no one called Daniel who lived in this house. I looked T her from head to toe. She was wearing a mini skirt and a red top with the neckline plunging down to show cleavage. My mother told me to beware of people who came to look for non existent residents of homes because it was usually a plot to do something bad but she didn't look like one. Was there a way people who did bad things looked anyway?
"There is no one called Daniel here" I replied
"Are you kidding me.?'" she snorted with laughter. I was confused, what was she laughing at, myself or her rather confused confidence,
" There is no one called Daniel here" I replied flatly. All these lousy city girls with their fake gestures, fake hair, nails and eyelashes too. Her eyelashes looked like hair from parts of a vulture, her hair looked like horse whip with fray ends.
She turned around and pointed at Olisa's red Honda Accord
"That is Daniel's car" she replied
"Olisa ." I blurted out. Was his name Daniel? Or a name given to people like her so he couldn't be easily traced but because she is crazy she would have probably paid someone to get the address.
" Daniel " she corrected with an angry tone in her voice
"Well that is brother Olisa's car" I told her
" Is he at home or not?" She asked me with that same angry tone in her voice. What was she angry about anyway, she just got here and if Olisa was not within earshot I would have told her he was out of town. Let me see how she would enter the house looking like a scarecrow in that outfit .
"He is at home ,what is your name let me let him know you are here to see him?" I said to her. She looked at me and clapped her hands in disgust like those market women in my hometown when they were surprised at  behavior that was unknown to them.

"Well since he is at home, let me in then" she said.
"What is your name?" I said firmly. I was beginning to get angry.
"Tell him he has a guest" she replied and pulled out a cell phone from her purse. I didn't move an inch. She began to push some buttons on her phone and put the phone to her ear. I stood firm and looked at her while she mean mugged me as she waited for the person on the other end to answer, suddenly she began to speak
" Hello, Daniel!, I am outside your house and one idiot is here speaking English with me" she screamed into the phone. I watched in amazement as the scarecrow in my presence had the never to call me an idiot.
 She continued talking until i heard footsteps, Olisa was behind me.
"Whats going on here?" Olisa asked.
"She said she was looking for Daniel" i told him
"And she was very rude to me?" The scarecrow looking female yelled as she put her phone back into her purse.
"I was not rude to you,  asking questions is part of my job, you refused to tell me your name" i responded.
"Why would i tell a common servant like you my name? she said to me.
"Enough" Olisa said and looked at the both of us in disgust.
"Both of you go inside the house now" he told us. I didn't argue, i walked in, hot tears began to run down my cheeks

Monday, December 21, 2015


Boarders always made water seem like something out of an oasis. Surely. It seemed very precious to them especially cold water. As a day girl i was used to my fellow classmates who were boarders holding out cups begging for cold water to drink early in the morning and giving it to them was like a blessing. Water from home was unlike the dining hall water or any other place on campus and this  made Day girls prey to the thirsty boarders in the morning. There was this particular chic who was not so generous, she didn't seem to have compassion for those needy girls who begged for water, its like everyone expected her to say "no"so a lot of people gave up. No one even asked her for water. One day, it was time to go to the gym for P.E. Most of the girls in class left after changing into the PE outfits which consisted of white T shirts and shorts which were the colors of individual houses the student belonged to and left three girls behind. As soon as everywhere was quiet, the girl's laughed and this was the conversation that ensued between them.
"I guess i will take my time to get to the gym"said the first girl.
"I know" the second girl replied
"I am thirsty, i need to drink some water, who has water in this class?" the third girl said. The first girl struggled to take her shirt off revealing her black bra.
"There is water in the orange and white flask by the window, you know the owner is a miser" the second girl said.
"I don't understand why some people don't like to share, even to the point of ordinary drinking water," the third girl responded as she walked towards the location of the flask.
"You know what, lets finish the water," the second girl suggested.
"No, it would be too obvious, just drink to your heart's fill and i would spit inside the water," the first girl responded. The third girl opened the flask and poured out some water. The second girl went to her locker and brought out a blue cup.
"Pour some here, I will use it to soak garri later," she said as she handed the cup to the third girl who poured out some water. The first girl took the cup and poured some water into it and drank.
"Are you guys done with the water?" the first girl asked.
"Yes" the other two replied. The first girl spat inside the flask, shook the contents and covered it up. The three girls laughed.
"Watch, if you ask her for water, she will say no" the third girl said.
"You girls,lets go' the first girl said and the other two scrambled up their things and they walked out of the classroom towards the gym.

An hour later, most members of the class walked back to class. It was a relief and some girls sank into their seats, it was break time. Most of the girls started changing from their PE outfits back into their school uniforms. The owner of the flask went to her seat  not suspicious of anything. The three girls sauntered into the classroom laughing. The first girl walked to the owner of the orange and white flask that contained the water. The other two girls stood watching.
"Can i get a cup of water from you,' the first girl asked.
"No, i don't have enough water to give you" the flask owner replied.
"It's not fair oh, i haven't asked you for water at all this week, you have never given me water and see how I am begging you, its not fair" the first girl said. The flask owner said nothing, seeing the first girl was bent on getting some water she was forced to respond.
"Look, don't disturb me, I already said no" the flask owner responded as she took her flask which was sitting on the floor. She opened the flask and poured herself a cup to drink. She began to drink, the other two girls who were watching laughed. The first girl smiled contentedly. Mission accomplished!!!!!! In m my own opinion. Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Evidence: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Thursday, December 17, 2015


Ho Ho Ho !!! I myself never saw this coming but YES. I decided to make the first 20 parts into a short read on AMAZON. Wohoo. Thank you all amazing people who read this and comment. Nairalanders you are my biggest readers. Thank you all so much,
  The story will continue on the blog, The older parts in the book (Part 1-20) wont be available back on the blog until March 16 2016.
It will be free tomorrow  December 18 2015 on Amazon, feel free to download it. Thank you all so much.


Tuesday, December 15, 2015


I was stunned. It was the familiar voice of nobody else but Adaeze who seemed to manifest into places when she was least expected.
" I repeat what is going on here?"Adaeze repeated loud and clear as she walked towards us Olisa removed himself from my embrace.
"Nothing ma" I said as I put my hands nervously behind back.
"Nothing" she repeated and gave me unfriendly look.
"What do you want?" Olisa asked her coldly.
"What do I want?" she repeated his statement and cast a glance at me and then back at him. Last time i checked this is my house and i have the right to go anywhere i want" she replied.
"Okay supervisor since you are busy supervising the affairs of this house, you walked into an emotional moment"Olisa replied sarcastically.
"Olisa, you are crazy" Adaeze yelled.
"What's your problem, every time you snoop around the house expecting everyone to be afraid of you" Olisa said.
"Because you are in the kitchen romancing the maid and you just got caught and what did you buy for her anyway, what is in this bag" Adaeze said and snatched the bags that i put on the floor and opened it, Olisa looked angrily at her and snatched the bags from her.
"Mind your business Adaeze," he said as he snatched the bags from her. I was confused,my biggest fear was not both of them having a usual squabble but Lady D walking into the kitchen to meet the commotion.
"So you went to Sweet Sensation to buy food that the maid will cook for you," Adaeze sneered. She had seen the Sweet Sensations food bag.
"Adaeze what is your problem now?" Olisa asked angrily.
"You and Grace are my problem, don't you have a girlfriend on campus better than Grace, polished educated" Adaeze said in a tone that hit me down my spine.
"Is there anything wrong with me buying something?" I said all of a sudden. I found my voice and maybe I needed to start speaking up for things to change instead of just being an obedient servant as usual, not saying anything to avoid drama.
"Look at this shameless she goat, you are not even afraid to talk, you are over here in the kitchen getting remnants while he goes to school and hangs opened your legs already, this emotional embrace is just a revelation"
Olisa grabbed her by the neck and shoved her to the fridge. I gasped not knowing what to expect next, she kicked him to let him loose grip but he was stronger than that.
"Adaeze i know you can be really stupid sometimes , you can also be a snob, but let this be the last time you say any demeaning thing to Grace in my presence ever again" he said right in her face and loosened his grip on her neck and dropped her.
She dropped to the floor holding her neck. She looked at me angrily, Olisa took the bags he brought for me and walked out of the kitchen.

Thursday, December 10, 2015


So i have this friend, we were having a discussion one day and she was telling me about the guy she was dating and how conservative he was with money unlike most other guys she had dated. He told her that she had very expensive taste and tried to help her spend rationally. It is true sha... this my friend can spend money like she is drinking Eva water.
She told me that he said her "exotic weave" was expensive and it was better for her to get her natural hair done at the shop since it was long and luscious and that was where wahala started.
"Why is he telling me that my Brazilian hair is expensive, shebi he saw me with it the first day he met me and he liked it, now we are dating, ordinary eighty thousand naira to buy hair, he is telling me story, please there are other men out there willing to spend more on me, if he is not interested, he can leave"
I didn't even know what to say right after she made the comment because

1) They were in a committed relationship, He had already met with her parents, she already told him the type of ring she wanted, all that was left was the perfect proposal.
2) This chic was making six figures and had a steady job.
3) She is over thirty years old.

This brings me to my point. The first point made him a potential husband, not a boyfriend, not a chewing gum boy or boyfriend and he cared so much for her, he also tried to help her to be rational. This was my response to her.

"Darling if you have a good job and you are out of school and over thirty years old and you are crying because you did not get 80K to buy your weave and you want to leave a potential somebody, the juju somebody did for you must be working"
She didn't expect that response from me. We kept talking and then i explained it to her.
This is what i mean. We females were brought up under the notion that a man has to take care of our needs.
It is very correct.Keyword NEEDS not WANTS, even if it is wants, something he can afford. That is the role of a HUSBAND.
As a boyfriend, it is up to him to do that, he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to.
A man who loves his lady will show her that in a thousand ways and more. Ladies, pay attention to how he treats you, Exotic hair doesn't always prove love.
This is my fair judgement, if a woman is at least thirty years old, has finished school, has a job, she has no business begging a man to buy Brazilian, Malaysian, Chinese or whatever citizenship of hair she decides to put on her head. As a woman, hair is part of grooming, take great pride in maintaining your hair yourself, begging a man for money at that age to buy hair sounds to me like a man asking a woman money to cut his hair, i know in monetary value they are different but it sounds like that to me. Every relationship is different but while dating abeg do shakara small.


I was taken aback by what i had just heard, was this man professing "like" to me. I looked at him, apart from poverty, we were not of the same social standing in any way.
"Thank you" was all i managed to say
"No be just thank you matter, i really like you" he said with a smile. I didn't want to start trying to figure out what he meant by liking me.
"Okay Sunday, i have heard" i told him. It was the best way to end awkward conversations without getting into arguments.
"Grace, i never tell you this kind thing before, but i want make you believe anything i tel you, Sunday said to me in the calmest voice  i have ever heard him use to speak.
"Sunday please i have things to do, i need to go inside" i told him impatiently. I was tired of hearing his "like" story which was leading to nowhere.
"No vex" he said looking like his feelings were hurt. Just simple reverse psychology which would not work for me.
"Lets talk later" i told him. He didn't say anything, instead he put his hands in his pocket and walked away. I looked at him as he walked away,

Olisa came home this afternoon, he seemed very happy to see me. He greeted me warmly when i opened the door and went to see his mom and his sisters. I was mopping the kitchen floor when he came in with two bags.
"Grace, how are you?" he asked me looking into my eyes. He was wearing a baby blue polo shirt and navy blue jeans.
"I am fine Olisa, how are you doing? How is school? I asked.
"I am doing well, i brought this for you" he said and handed two bags to me which i nervously took from him.
"What is this for?" I asked him without looking at the content of the bags.
"A token of appreciation" he said and smiled. I opened the first bag, it contained food from Sweet Sensations. The second bag had new clothes with tags on them.
"Thank you for the food, but i cannot take the clothes" i replied.
"Why?" he asked, his facial expression had changed from straight up excited to puzzled.
"It is just a present" he said and looked into my eyes, i did not want to hurt his feelings but i know i already did.
"Any other thing but not clothes, they are expensive too, those are boutique clothes, where would i wear them to" i asked.
"You can wear them when you are off work, i just wanted to do something nice for you" he said.I began to feel like an ingrate of some sort.
"I really appreciate it Olisa but what have i done to deserve clothes" i asked him, sometimes things like this would end up having a form of payment due.
"Nothing, just being graceful" he said and began to walk away like he had just lost a battle. I didn't know what to do or even tel him but i also didn't want him to leave the kitchen sad.
"Wait Olisa, thank you so much, i truly appreciate the gesture" i said to him.
"Its okay, i just wanted to surprise you,but instead i ended up surprising myself" he said.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I hugged him and surprisingly he hugged me back too, We held each other.
The kitchen door opened, before i could react, a female face appeared shocked looking at both of us locked in an embrace.
"What is going on here?"

Monday, November 9, 2015


A few weeks after the incident with Adaeze, chief Thompson and her mom. Things changed a little bit. Adaeze was a little hostile towards her mother and it also made matters worse for me. She always found something wrong with anything and also everything i did. Ogochukwu came home for the weekend and noticed the hostile environment. When Adaeze went to the movies with her crazy friends Ginika and Lucy, Ogochukwu came to me
"Grace what is going on around here?" she asked me as i chopped the okra.
"I don't understand" i replied not knowing if Ogochukwu was someone i could gossip with. I really missed my cousins and i hadn't seen them since i started working here. The last week of the month was my off week and i couldn't wait to go home to download gist to my cousins.
"My mom and Adaeze, they don't seem to be in goo terms, did anything happen when i was away?" she asked.
"She had a misundrtsanding with your mom and it was about Chief" i replied and looked at her face to get a reaction to the information that i had just given her.
"Oh no, she cant possibly do that?" Ogochukwu replied. I was not sure if her statement meant that Adaeze was not capable of having a misunderstanding with her mom about chief or if what Adaeze did was wrong. I had a blank expression on my face which Ogochukwu read instantly.
"She shouldn't fight with mom because of Chief, that his her ATM teller, he has been taking care of us since daddy abandoned us" Ogochukwu replied. Maybe that was why Adaeze was angry because he wasn't her father. She didn't want him to play the role of a father in her life.
"Your dad abandoned you" i said shocked at Ogochukwu's last statement. She was embarrassed, it was probably something she dint have to say out loud talk less of even telling me.
"Unfortunately he did, but its okay, Chief has been our dad for so many years so why is she acting ungrateful" Ogochukwu said,
"You know your sister can be a rebel" i said.
"I know" she said and sat on the white stool by the door. I knew she would hang out with me for some time, "I like you Grace, you are very easy to talk to and very smart" she said. I didn't expect her to say something like that so i smiled and thanked her.
"I wish Adaeze was like you" she said.
"Why?" i asked.
"She is just pretty but she lacks character, she looks down on people an thinks too highly of herself" Ogochukwu said, i was a little uncomfortable especially because the person in question was her sibling, i had to choose my words carefully because anything i said here would be used against me in the future.
"She is acting her age, she would grow out of it" i said without looking up.
"She is older than you are" Ogochukwu said. which was true. I just didn't want to put myself in a position of talking about Adaeze. Adaeze's behavior was a complex problem. A type of problem that needed God's intervention.

Later in the evening. Lady D was upstairs in bed with Chief Thompson, the children were not home, i was out taking the trash when the driver came to talk to me.
"How now Grace?" the driver said.
"i am fine" i replied as i shook the contents of the trashcan out. He watched me.
"Madam don sleep?" he asked.
"Yes she is sleeping" i replied.
"You no dey speak pidgin English, every time wey i dey talk to you, you dey use grammar reply" he said and smiled. The secondary school i attended banned vernacular speaking among students and faculty members and i got used to it , even though i understood what he was saying, i could not bring myself to speak pidgin English.
"No, i don't speak pidgin English" i replied.
"Why now?"
"Because i cant speak it well" i replied not knowing what other reason  could give for not speaking vernacular. "Can you speak proper English?"
"I fit try"
"That would be good"
"Grace, i like you" he said.

Friday, October 30, 2015


“Adaeze” Lady D yelled. Chief Thompson looked at her in amazement. He was not sure what was going on but he knew that Lady D could go from looking seemingly calm to going crazy and I am sure he couldn’t tell which of her sides had just come out. I held my breath as I heard Adaeze’s bedroom door open, I crouched close to the staircase so she wouldn’t see me, Adaeze was the witch of the house who seemed to appear when she was not called and intervened in matters that did not concern her. Adaeze walked majestically down the stairs, I heard her footsteps behind me on the stairs.
“Welcome mom” Adaeze said.
“What happened when I was not home?” Lady D replied ignoring her greeting.
“Nothing” she replied.
“What happened between you and Chief?” her mother asked sounding hostile. I am one hundred percent sure that Chief was smiling on the inside, since I crouched by the stairs I couldn’t see faces or gestures so I just had to guess reactions by the sound of their voices.
“Oh, nothing really, I just told Grace to make semolina or eba for him and he started shouting” Adaeze replied.
“I am not your age mate, Adaeze, do you understand” Chief shouted all of a sudden.
“There he goes again” Adaeze replied and chuckled.
“Calm down Chief, shouting won’t solve the problem, let me talk to her first” Lady D said.
“Talking to her won’t solve the problem either, she is just headstrong, I don’t know if it is because she is in the university, mind you I take care of her expenses” Chief bragged.
“I don’t care if you shove your money in my ass you are not my father” Adaeze replied rudely.
“Shut your mouth before I slap your teeth into eternity, are you crazy” Lady D shouted all of a sudden. I wasn’t expecting that at all. “How dare you talk to him in that manner, is he your age mate?” Lady D was on a different level of angry. 
I tried to peep out of my crouch position and I was able to see Adaeze’s face. She was speechless and surprised. Since I moved into this house I have never seen Lady D reprimand Adaeze for any reason even when she was wrong. 
It made Olisa angry especially when he tried to make his mother realize that Adaeze was just being a brat
"I ..,,.," Adaeze began after coming out of her speechless state.
"I said be quiet, what is wrong with you, you can't be the only one in this house that commits crimes against humanity, everyday Adaeze” Lady D said angrily. For once I respected what Lady D did. Adaeze was angry, I knew that tears would come out of her eyes if her mother said one more word. Adaeze folded her hands across her breasts.
“Oya, I want you to apologise to Chief” Lady D instructed. Adaeze opened her eyes wide.
“Apologise for what?” she asked.
“Are you talking back at me?” Lady D said and stood up from the sofa. This disciplinarian side of Lady D was rare. Adaeze retreated a step in shock.
“No” she responded.
“Better” her mother replied. There was an uncomfortable silence, as I waited for someone to act either speak or move, but no one did, Lady D and Chief Thompson looked at Adaeze waiting for a response but she seemed dumb all of a sudden.
“Adaeze” Lady D said.
“Yes” Adaeze replied reluctantly still with her hands folded across her chest.
“I don’t know or care about what is wrong with you or what you are going through, what I will no longer tolerate is your irate attitude in this house towards Chief and also towards your siblings, I have noticed you do it to the maid too” Lady D said, so she noticed that she did all that to me but pretended not to notice.
“Yes, Grace doesn’t need your nonsense behavior, she is a very good girl with good manners” Chief replied. I listened to him and smile, even though we didn’t start off on good ground, he appreciated me.
“Shut up Thompson” Lady D said.

Monday, October 26, 2015


I don’t know if it is me, or the nature of man has truly changed. This blog post was a little hard for me to write because it also personal too.

I remember when I was growing up, love seemed to be something often dreamed about, it seemed perfect when two people felt the same way about each other, when they shared their dreams and goals with the ultimate purpose of spending the rest of their lives together
Nowadays, the idea of falling in love is like reading “Alice in Wonderland” where Alice kept chasing a rabbit that kept running away and only for her to find out that her whole adventure was just a dream.
Is it hard to find a good man nowadays or are the ladies of this generation no longer wife material because it goes both ways. A chic could be looking for a man who would give her  a decent relationship, a great time, movies, vacation, dinner, family , sex, etc with a commitment or something like it but not be  wife material. Meanwhile there could be another man ready to trade it all and give her what she wants but she most likely won’t be interested

Harrysong came up with this song “Even your boo get a boo”
It is a song that most people will sing with joy because there is a lot of truth in it. The lyrics ring true these days
If you are in a relationship, is it just both of you? is there a third party? are there more tenants in your relationship? Have you ever tried to find out or do you wholly trust your partner, after being played twice, I make sure that I have my GPS positioned properly…… (that’s my secret now).

I was once in a relationship after a year of breaking up with the dude, I found out that there was two of us, the whole time and I was the side chic, He never truly broke up with the ex who seemed to be lingering, it was very heart breaking to find out I was a side chic.

All my life, i never prayed to be a side chic but i unknowingly became one and the best decision i made was remove myself from the equation and let him be someone else's headache. 

There was another one who had an extra two females and he ran all of us like a dating service and every side chic always had to fulfill a need, either financially, emotionally, sexually, mentally, physically.

This type of dude is who I will always call a Fuckboy.

As a female I always come 100. I know my worth and value as a female and I have stuff to bring to the table so why do I have to be a side chic?
If a man has intention of keeping one woman and intends to play the field, he needs to let me know so i could go, if I choose to stay then it is at my own risk, a lot of females are not open minded, most of it stems from insecurity and the fear of being inadequate, late twenties and early thirties tend to pose a lot of pressure on females because their friends are getting married and having babies.
So it brings me to the question Why cheat?

On Twitter @Echecrates wrote that cheating is a choice,
A cheater chooses to cheat with someone else over their partner. It is a choice.
Choices do come with consequences. What type of choice will a man make when it comes to cheating?

Eche also wrote 


All the way. Sometimes you look at a man’s partner, then you look at the woman he cheated with and you are like.
Wait what is going on here?”
A man will have a classy woman with a good head on her shoulders, really beautiful and hang out with some chic that on a normal day you won’t dream of seeing him with. Why? It is a matter of choice, there are many reasons why a man would cheat and on that note it is always a matter of choice. Women cheat too but it seems worse for women because we live in a world where double standards are practiced and for the woman cheating is a very bad idea.

There is a story on Linda Ikeji blog about a side chic who sent a text message to the wife of her “boyfriend”. If I had to judge the man his side chic is childish, she has nothing to offer, maybe sex but its temporary and that to me is a waste of time.So this man left his wife for his very personal reasons and decided to be with a chicken head who had the audacity to send text messages to "The First Lady of His Home". What she fails to understand is that she will always be a sidepiece, the woman has "investments" in the marriage which include children and what they built from scratch. She made the house a home by giving him  a family. 

Anyway please your boo shouldn’t have a boo that isn’t you, if your boo has a boo please be single or find someone who wants what you want too, there is nothing better than loving somebody when somebody loves you back.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015


So over the weekend I got to read the answers to some of the questions that I tagged a fellow blogger in. I got the biggest shock of my life. Usually you don't know the type of effect you have on someone till they tell you, it could be positive and it could also be negative
 This one was positive and it was also a shocker for me. I also read it with a sense of pride, each word struck me, well composed and well written, she needs to start getting paid to write recommendation letters for people.
Anyway Thelma is like a younger sister and a good friend. I have known her for almost two decades now and it still seems like yesterday. She made my mind go back to when i was younger and writing was an addiction for me,back then my classmates would fight over having a "turn" to read, some of my notebooks came back not only with dog ears but coming of staplers or something, most importantly the book was read.
Thelma i hope you get to read this but the last time i thought of doing a book collabo with you, that was almost 3 years ago, you wanted to blog, and you are doing AWESOME!!I am very very proud of you. I just never knew i had an ounce of influence on you.
Anyway fellow bloggers step you blog game up, if you cant be Oprah or Linda Ikeji please make a name for yourself at least. Cheers

Check out Thelma's blog
Thelma Thinks

Sunday, October 11, 2015


Hello everyone
Its been hectic, working on a book currently and the setting of the story requires a lot of research.
Besides that life is awesome but i have decided to create a blogging schedule so i don't fall behind.
I got nominated by Sharon Salu
An amazing author of a couple of books i was privileged to read
Bewaji's Ankara Adventures
Wura's Woodin Adventures

I am yet to read the read the rest, there are about 4 aso ebi adventures but i read
The Piano Book

Check her out, her stories are Amazing!!!
She is also a QCOG!!!

Here are the rules
  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site;
  2. Put the award logo on your blog;
  3. Answer the ten questions sent to you;
  4. Nominate five blogs;
  5. Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.
Here are my answers
1. Why do you write/blog?
I write because i have a story to tell,  play with characters, determine their role in the story and eliminate them if need be, i love playing God on paper. I blog because i love media, ranting instead of making a new status on Facebook. lol
2.  What is your favorite color?

Red. It is a fire color, very attractive, my show off color, i love red nail polish and red lipstick. 
3. If you could invent one device that could change the world, what would it be?

I cant think of any right now, maybe one that would bring people back from the dead. A machine that can cure cancer... the world needs a lot of things.

4. What books did you read that made a profound effect on your life?

Waoh.... i cant answer that.
5. What languages can you speak apart from English?
          Yoruba and Igbo 
6. Name one song you cant get out of you head.
       Pleasure Principle by Janet Jackson.

7. Hugs  versus Handshakes: Which do you prefer?

None especially handshakes, after observing some people's hygiene habits with hands, i would rather give a friendly wave. 
8. Which country would you love to visit?
 9. Complete this sentence.. The world needs more........
      Geniuses and readers.

10. Complete this sentence... The world needs less....
Liars and ungrateful people

I nominate the following bloggers


2. Honeydame


4.Thelma Thinks

5. Myne Whitman

Here are my questions

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?
2. What does your last text message say?
3. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and coke? Which do you prefer?
4. Make a confession about anything.
5. Name one item on your bucket list
6. If you were another person would you make friends with yourself?
7. What is your secret weapon to lure the oppoiste sex, boyfriend, husband, potential?
8. What do you want to know about the future?
9. What would you change about your experience in secondary school
10. Scary movies or happy endings?

I want to read your answers please share the link with me..

Tuesday, September 29, 2015


Yesterday, i wished a friend on Twitter a happy birthday and then in turn i wrote "Many Happy Returns"
After sending the tweet, i looked at the sentence i composed and asked myself
"What does many happy returns mean?" I have said it all my life to friends and family also enemies  on their birthdays.

I decided to investigate why people say "many happy returns of the day" right after saying "Happy birthday"

The most logical explanation is

It is a prayer wishing one long life, returns of the day  means if the day returns next year and the year after for so many years till you become an old person.
With that said i would love to wish my dear friend on Twitter Demola Friday a very happy birthday and wishing him many many happy returns till infinity. He reads my stories and comments on them and i appreciate him.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015


This is one thing i have been trying to rant on for quite sometime.
Is it me or some people find it convenient to just give out someone's cell number or BB Pin without asking them?

So i met this dude at a party one time. For starters i wasn't feeling him in the sense that i just saw him as part of the mix in the crowd, was 99.1% sure that i wont see him again after the party, i think he was trying to strike a convo and i made a rude comment, you know when you replay the convo in your head one would have assumed that he would not talk to me after that, but guess what when he was leaving he came to say goodbye and the following morning. I got a BB request. It was him.

One of the Judas's called "a friend" gave him my PIN.

Okay i am sure you are like "it shouldn't be a big deal"
Maybe it isn't, some hunters make sure they go for the kill and won't rest till the get it, my "friend" just handed me like prey.And not only that she downloaded "gist" about me like, the guy already thought he knew who i was before getting my PIN.

This is a personal issue. I really have a problem with people giving out my cell number or BB Pin or any personal info without contacting me first. If i had to ask, i wouldn't mind if you asked the BB pin owner or cell owner as in "She asked for you number is it okay if i gave it to her?" Yes or no would work. Unless your cell number has been on a flyer, is standard on a website or published as a business point of contact i wont give it out. You wont hear " I got your number from Lola". Trust me you would have gotten a text first or i would have called you.

It is the same chic who gave out my PIN that is  now lamenting out of self pity that she introduced the guy to me, maybe if she had asked me what had ensued between the guy and myself before giving out my PIN, she would have been in a better position to judge.
Anyway what are your thoughts.
I really want to know.

Thursday, August 20, 2015


Hello Blogville,
i haven't blogged in a lonnnnnngg time. I have totally killed my resolution about blogging more frequently but i actually need to really have something to say not just recycle news.
I have been attending weddings and yes most of my MATES are getting married and i am just sitting here FABULOUS and ISH!!
Anyway 2016 is coming..... God is faithful

So in other words i have a question that needs to be answered on my blog. Terry Bams, a relationship coach asked a question on Twitter

"In a marriage, should your partner have access to all your things? (Cell phone, social media, bank account,etc)"

This is a very simple question and it could also be very complex.
My answer to this question is NO.
Lately from my own observation some couples miss the individuality part of their person, once in a relationship everything starts becoming "us" which is how it should be but eventually they start losing their individuality. Not everything necessarily has to be joint or shared maybe except food. LOL.

I WILL NOT share my cell phone information including my text messages or call logs with you, my social media password and information is mine, my bank account is also mine except we open a joint one.

Okay, let me break this down, unless i need to show my spouse something on my phone,
he has ABSOLUTELY no right to my cell phone unless it rings or i have a message , i don't need to share passcodes if i decide to lock my phone anyway, my phone has the fingerprint feature so even what God has joined together our fingerprint will never be the same

I have nothing to hide, absolutely nothing so i don't need him logging into my Facebook page as me, i wont go on his either, we opened accounts separately, these are individual social accounts not joint, after spending most time together in the house, why do we have to meet on social network, i have a cousin who is VERY ACTIVE on social media, he has controversial Facebook statuses with probably over fifty comments a day, but guess what, his wife is not on his Facebook as a friend, not because he has anything to hide but for one they have a relationship behind closed doors not open to the media or those ex girlfriends who want to know the level of intelligence his wife would show, at first i didn't understand why he i that, but today i totally respect it because through pictures of his wife that he has on social media, everyone has to respect that she is the mother of his three children.

The bank account issue we can share a joint bank account which has a portion of out income going there to maintain the house, i refuse to use my earnings to fund habits,unless they are talents so each can spend money however it leases, if i decided to splurge on Victoria secret underwear, i just need to make sure that there is money in the joint account to pay the electricity bill or buy enough food for the pantry. Giving my spouse my bank information will not make our marriage last longer.

The point here is are you owned or do you own, For anyone who is brave enough to share their lives in this format with a spouse that is what i call owned, just like property, your spouse owns everything, you cant have a sense of privacy, they check your emails, know that you spent $40 on Jamba Juice this week,spent $250 on a Michael Kors purse when they asked you  for $100 and you refused, they also know that your ex who is happily married and has four kids liked your picture on Facebook, you are always obligated to an explanation, sometimes these things are so irrelevant and trivial they spark up huge arguments, if only you had kept some things as your own.
They don't have to be shared , but they shouldn't be hidden either,there is nothing wrong with them knowing you have an account but if you don't have to share you shouldn't and the reason shouldn't be that you are hiding something

You should own, your own cell phone, social media page(s), bank account an other things that don't necessarily have to be shared like food, or the bed.
I own my stuff, i own me, 
My spouse is and will always be, my better half.

PS: To all those ladies who also believe that having the key to your boyfriend's apartment means you are the keeper. There is always a spare key, Make sure you are not the spare key.

Friday, June 19, 2015


Kyrian and Ada were lovers, they were like best friends, they decided to spend their lives together until they both found out that they carried the sickle cell traits and it was possible to have a child or two, maybe three that would have the sickle cell disease, so they end their love affair of a few years.
While the decision sounded wise, there are other ways to deal with the stigma that comes with either having the trait or having the disease.
Sickle cell anemia is a blood disease. It is usually inherited from carrier parent(s). It is a rare disease that occurs in people of African or African American descent. It can also be found in some Middle Eastern countries and also Asian countries like China. It occurs when a red blood cell is sickle shaped as result blood flow is restricted and it causes damage to vital organs. The normal red blood cell is biconcave in shape and the surface area allow for blood flow across it.
 The first misconception I need to correct is sickle cell trait and sickle cell disease; these are two related but different words. A person with the sickle cell trait is known as (AS) genotype, here the person just has the trait and it takes mating with a person who has another (AS) trait to have a twenty five percent chance to have the sickle cell disease (SS).  A person who does not carry the trait is referred to as (AA).I have heard a lot of people refer to the trait as equal to having the disease it is not true.

The stigma that lies with the misconception is one of the reasons why education for this disease is not rapid, a lot of people bask in the highest level of ignorance even when there are enough information outlets about this disease. About thirty years ago, the stigma of this disease was almost on the same level as having HIV. It was said to have no cure but another thing is that it was not a sexually transmitted disease, neither did a carrier’s condition get worse just by having the disease. Two lovers would stop dating or try to get married as soon as the information about carrying a trait was disclosed as though all their children would come out carrying the disease. A lot of African parents would discontinue a relationship when the information was disclosed because they didn’t want cases of burying children. The truth is out of every four children, one would carry the trait, it is a twenty five percent chance, so what if all the children came out normal or just the trait?
It is sad that a this rare disease has killed a lot of relationships, if two people are brave enough to continue their relationship against all odds and decide to get married, the fate of their children inheriting this disease is in their hands. 
There are two ways of early testing of the fetus to know what to expect, the first is using a method called Amniocentesis is a procedure in which the amniotic fluid of a pregnant woman is tested in her third- fourth month of pregnancy for this genetic disorder, a needle is used to withdraw the fluid which is then analyzed for the trait, the other method is using the Chronic Villi sampling which is done in the second month of pregnancy, the mother’s vagina has samples taken out with a needle, the  genetic information from the mother is also the same as that of the baby and the information is taken to the lab to be analyzed, if the outcome of the analysis proves that the baby will have the disease then they can make the best medical decision as the deem fit with the help of a doctor.

Proper education and public awareness will reduce the ignorance and common misconceptions of this disease and step up finding possibly permanent cures to this disease.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


I got a good feedback from Friday Ademola who is an active follower of mine on Twitter so i felt compelled to put another post on the story i am working on, on the blog. Enjoy~~~

“How far did you think? Sex and then next?” I asked bringing up the sex word.
“Sex?” he asked. I looked at him. He had the most confused look on his face, I was not sure what he was thinking but I seriously hope he is not a virgin, I seriously hope he doesn’t have a sexually transmitted disease and I seriously hope he is not celibate.
“Yes S-E-X?” I spelled out.
“I don’t intend to have sex with you?” he said. I couldn’t believe it, my self esteem dropped from one hundred percent to two percent; did he just say he didn’t intend to have sex with me? Was I not sexually attractive, what in the world was Tunde talking about?
“You don’t?” I asked.
“I haven’t thought about sex with you and right now I have no intention of having sex with you.” He replied looking at me straight in the eyes.
Let me analyze his sentence, he said “right now” so that means he could change his mind and have sex with me later or maybe Tunde is sexually attracted to other men. He didn’t seem like the kind but to be truthful Tunde and I have gone on several dates and he has only given me pecks on the cheek, like the Biblical times you know, the kind of kiss Judas gave Jesus, he kissed him on the cheek. Tunde’s pecks were passionless I never felt any emotion, was he just being a proper gentleman or he just couldn’t make my heart skip a beat or two. I am on the verge of losing my patience with this guy.
“I see” I replied.
“I just want to really get to know you for who you are, not trying to get into your pants or anything, I believe that is fair enough, I don’t know what kind of men you fated in the past, I don’t want to say I am different but I have my standards” Tunde said. I thought it was the most impressive thing he had said since the day we met.
“Okay, let’s give it a shot” I said. I had nothing to lose, if he decided to walk away tomorrow my goodies would be where I left them, untouched and protected.

The traffic on the bridge took forever; I sat in the car skipping different radio stations trying to find out what would work best for me to listen to.  Work was hectic. There was a new manager in my department and she was the craziest looking piece of work I had seen in a long time with her uncombed and not a single drop of moisturizer like water had hit her hair in a few days, was she trying to start a revolution because she would be giving natural haired girls a run for their Shea Moisture products. She was trying to get into the system and had us all run around the department looking for files, documents, passwords, bringing back old things from almost eight years prior, I hoped in heaven she was not a slave driver because I would connive with me co workers and give her a run to the next department or simply just quit.          
“This woman was sent to torment us in this office” Lydia my coworker murmured as she walked past me in the office with a box of folders.

“Where I come from, we chase the devil with sticks” I replied and we laughed. The tension in the office was profound, everyone seemed to or had to appear busy, I hated working under pressure and my co workers acted like someone died in the office, everyone seemed melancholic. No one smiled and laughter seemed so expensive all of a sudden. I had the shortest lunch ever because no one seemed to want to sit down and have an hour lunch, time was of the essence. I couldn’t wait for 5pm and trust me it didn’t come quick but once I saw the hour hand of the clock on number five, I made my way out of the building.

Monday, May 18, 2015


On a very wonderful Sunday in May  a whole bunch of ladies dressed in white with sailor hats decided to be part of a very opulent and one of the best baby showers I have seen in a very long tim and it was well done and made with love attended by the people who really had to be there.
After viewing the lovely looking pictures I realized I don't have a lot of creative people around me and I need to learn to be more spontaneous. I read the horrid criticism  of TIWAS dress which I believe is very okay because she is very pregnant.

All the special people in my life please take note, throwing a surprise baby shower takes effort, it doesn't have to be so opulent but creativity is most important. I give this shower one hundred percent. I would have given anything to be a fly on the wall at this event.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015


I won't be writing the whole series on my blog. I want you to get the book when it is out. Support a sister while she builds her castles. Lol.!!!  If you haven't read the short story proposal, You may be a little lost in this one, not really lost but somewhat.
You can read it on Okadabooks for free

So here is Part 2.

 I don’t know if you remember Maxwell from the proposal. Hmm
If you don’t let me remind you, so I used to date this really nice man called Maxwell, the only problem, I was a complete asshole to him so he decided to teach me a lesson by proposing to me on April 1st. It was the worst April Fool’s joke I had ever encountered. I could not even look at him after realizing that I had been fooled.
Fast forward a few months later I met this nice, tall young man with dimples, yes I said it, dimples, he has the cutest smile ever. I met him at my cousin’s little shindig and then we decided to hook up, after about four dates he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was born in 1984, so that actually makes me thirty one years old this year and did the punk ask me to be his girlfriend.
“Sharon” Tunde said snapping me out of my day dream.
“Yes” I replied snapping back into reality.
“Did you hear what I asked?” he said looking confused, the arch on his left brow was so sexy especially in the confused state.
“I did, but I don’t think so” I replied. He looked crestfallen,
“Why?” he asked.
“You are a great guy and all but” I began, he looked at me so hard that the words I wanted to say just vanished. I wasn’t going to turn him down but I had to let him know that I wasn’t what he was looking for. Any female above thirty should not be “girlfriend material”. I don’t care if you don’t agree with me but honestly speaking I have been someone’s girlfriend since high school, can I at least get a break from that title?
“What is the problem?” he asked with a straight face.
“I don’t want to be a girlfriend, I want to be a future prospect, I have been a girlfriend all my life and I think it’s boring for me already.” I responded not knowing how I was able to get the whole sentence out of my mouth without my heart skipping a beat. He smiled. I don’t know why he smiled and I also don’t know what he was thinking but I got a little frazzled after watching him smile.
“I like the way you think but let us take one day at a time at least get to know each other, hopefully we can end up liking each other after we get to know each other’s bad habits, you may end up not liking me after you find out that I don’t eat meat” he said and smiled.
“You don’t eat meat? “ I asked. I couldn’t stand vegetarians, they made their choice for not eating meat like a religion, like they were better than other people who ate meat, made people like me feel unhealthy and I hope he wasn’t the kind who made that effortless announcement in public about not eating meat.
“It’s been about a month, a new lifestyle change” he replied and smiled.
“Oh a month, that is not long enough, you can still slip back into your old ways, if you hang out with me well enough you probably would” I told him.
“Then I would consider you a bad influence” he replied. I felt selfish, but why in the world would someone decided to give up meat, meat always made everything taste good, jollof rice and meat, fried rice and meat, vegetable soup and meat, why on earth would he want to give up meat? It sounded like a man who could see wanting to go blind, but I know that any of the members of the vegetarian club would shoot me dead if I made the comparison sound like that, they would probably tell me it was like getting your sight back after blindness.
“Oh please” I said and waved my hand in disgust. “What else are you trying to get rid of?” I asked.
“Eggs, chicken, milk, mostly dairy, I am slowly quitting alcohol too” he replied trying to gauge my reaction.
“Are you serious?” You are quitting all the best things in life” I shrieked. How could he want to quit alcohol? If we ever went out on a date to celebrate something, we would pop apple cider instead of champagne, or is he trying to be deliberately cheap because liquor is expensive and I am not cheap, I won’t resort to soda not to even talk about water. He also added eggs to the list, what is breakfast without eggs? What is moin moin without eggs? I put eggs in my fried rice, I love eggs, they taste great, those beautiful birds lay eggs that taste great why on earth would Tunde deprive himself of eating eggs calling it a lifestyle choice. We would all die of something one day so while we are still breathing it is best to eat all the food available.
“I am quitting all the best things in life. You are not quitting and I won’t hold it against you” Tunde replied.
“It will be awkward though” I said.
“How?” he asked looking at me intently.
“I would have a plate with dairy and you will just eat mostly salad and other stuff” I replied folding my hands like a naughty little girl. He laughed.
“Don’t feel that way. Everyone has their preferences” he replied. “So back to the question?” he continued trying to get us back on track to the girlfriend and potential wife question.
“I am not settling for girlfriend” I replied.
“Let’s take one day at a time” he soothed.  After watching a whole lot of sermons after Maxwell played me, I decided to play my cards right, Tunde looked like a king but was acting like a joker right now. It was over three months and he hadn’t said a single thing about knowing the color of my bra, sounds like a keeper right or wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I am a freak, I  love having sex and I beginning to feel celibate, like my vagina walls are drying up, I haven’t had sex in over three months, but how can I bring up the topic about having sex and not sound desperate or like a slut and also did he give up sex too?
“I am not cut out for that, I have things that could occupy my time and I need to know where I am headed, I am not a science experiment, like a toy you play with and put back on the shelf, I am a real woman with real feelings who intends to find someone who is on the same page and get married and have kids, that is what I want, anything less than that please keep it moving.” I told him, I couldn’t believe that I said all that in one breath and I still kept a straight face. He looked defeated, he probably didn’t think I would stick up for myself, I also didn’t think so either but I am tired of men running in and out of my life like a bus stop. I needed to be someone’s final destination, not a stop for a man to pick up another woman.

“I understand, I really like you but I haven’t thought that far yet” he said. The words came out like a bomb from his mouth, he hadn’t thought that far yet, did he think we were still in college taking subjects and do homework later.

Let me know what you think!!!

Monday, April 27, 2015


The bride doing shoki
Gracious.its been a while since I blogged. I have been so busy making plans since it is the second quarter of the year. The first half has come and gone smoothly.My birthday is usually at the end of the first quarter of the year so beginning from April, i see it as a fresh start.
 I am currently working on the Part 2 of the Proposal.I will let you read a sneak peek of that and let's see what you think.
I was in a wedding.its like most of my friends are getting married and having babies and I am over here just FABULOUS. I am beginning to have different aso ebi colors and fabric. I need to start getting ready for marriage oh before my friends kids will be babysitting my children, i want the children to all be playmates....
This wedding happened  about two weeks ago and I am just sharing... the trad engagement was on Friday April 10 and the Nikkai and reception was on Saturday April 11th.
Maid of honor and the bride's cousin
Daddy is giving the bride away, the journey down the aisle
My outfit for the traditional engagement
Getting the bride ready
The Bridal committee
Aso ebi ladies
bridal commiitee at the reception
Elevator selfie with the bride and the bridal crew
Wishing the bride a happily ever type of married life..
I guess its my turn to start planning a wedding...

Sunday, April 5, 2015


Hey..Happy Resurrection week. I am sure you all had an amazing Easter. Let me make it better by sharing something lovely with you.
I am a blogger and also a writer but I feel I write more instead of blog as much as other bloggers do, I put one of my favorite stories on Okadabooks and guess what, its free. Its a recurring story on my blog. "the proposal" and I have also put a sneak preview of my next book "Alhaji " up for you to read. Please download the Okadabooks app to read my books and other talented Nigerian writer's stories. I would also love to get feedback. Thank you Beautiful..

Thursday, March 26, 2015


The ladies, we painted the place RED!!!
Hmmm..that time of the year came around again and I turned 31. Yes I said it, its my real age, no camouflage or nothing..I have grown from that skinny QC girl to a full fledged woman...I am thankful for my life, my family, awesome friends , health. Experiences, blessings and lessons.I thank you my darling readers and fellow bloggers for encouraging and inspiring me. I had a pretty awesome day with four of my friends and my brother.

Table Manners

Friends since Elementary school, isnt it so cool that after 22 years we are still friends
Crazy fun filled evening
Birthday girl on her birthday behavior
my shot of Patron..Birthday Tradition