Monday, February 8, 2016

PORSCHA... MY PURSE.

Here is a personal edition of me.
I never really talk about my personal self on my blog, i just write stories, so i decided to start doing that this year, maybe it will help my readers decide the type of person i am and at least get to know me better.

So i will tell you a little about my purse called Porscha.
She is a black, leather Coach purse a Fall 2012 edition and Porscha is my everyday purse, i rarely change her or rather switch with another purse except when i am travelling and then Obiageli the big, grey purse will be used for smuggling. As you can see, Porscha's handles are a little worn out and i need a new purse but her stomach aspects carries everything i need. I also haven't found a really good replacement bag.


Anyone who has been around me will know that my purse is usually a proverbial "bottomless pit". I carry everything in my purse from pens, to markers, receipts, headphones everything, i cleaned out my purse the other day and decided to show off her contents.

Haha my Kindle Tablet is like my best friend, very good to use during long waits or when i am bored at work. My compact mirror, my two favorite perfume roller balls,to freshen up. My wallet. That wallet contains everything,receipts, about ten different cards, money and it is heavy. Hot pink is my favorite color. My iPod for listening to music with the Aux cord in my car, i am missing my headphones which i left at home today. I like keeping nail polish in my purse for those chips and quick touch ups, i recently started letting my natural nails grow and then painting them. I don't wear fake nails and since i am very domestic my nails easily get chipped, after a week i take the polish off and redo it, My hand cream is an essential in my purse because i have very dry skin. And also my foundation . My make up bag is usually in my car but i keep my foundation with me because varying the temperatures may degrade the chemicals in the make up, in the summer liquid make up may turn to gas if you are not careful. Lol. Just kidding. 
These are the essentials of my purse.
What's in your purse?

Sunday, February 7, 2016

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID 27

The uninvited "Sisi" was shell shocked. I stood there watching her every move. Before i could say "Jack Robinson". Her cell phone began to ring. She opened her purse where the phone was and pulled it out, she looked at the screen and frowned. She pressed a button on the side of the phone and the ringing stopped. She put the phone back into her bag.
She looked at Olisa who wasn't even saying her any attention. She stood up and then her phone began to ring again.
"Answer the damn phone" Olisa said disgustedly. She walked towards the door not even looking back, i followed closely behind so i could open the door for her and lock it after she stepped outside. She got to the door and opened it herself. I watched her walk away. She was too embarrassed to look back. I locked the door and went back into the kitchen.


*******************************************************************************
It was my first time off since i started working at Lady D's house and i was excited to be off from work for seven days. Lady D had to go to London for a week, the children were back on campus and she told me to go and stay with my aunt because i would be bored by myself in her huge house and it was a good way to escape to go and see my family. The driver dropped her off at the airport, while i got my things ready upon his return,he would drop me off at my aunt's house.
There was a knock at the door and then the door bell rang. Who could that be? Lady D was not in town and the children knew better than to come home in their mother's absence. She was not around to give them money.
 I hesitantly walked to the door and peeped through the eye hole. It was Chief Thompson. What could he possibly want, his girlfriend was not here. I opened the door.
"Good afternoon sir" i greeted.
"My darling Grace, how are you?" he responded cheerfully as he walked into the house and the smell of his perfume seemed to linger a little bit in the air.
"I am fine sir" i replied as i didn't know what else to say.
"Good" he replied as he sat down in his usual spot and crossed his leg. I was unsure of how to react because no one else would come into the house and i had to get my things ready before the driver got to the house. He beckoned to me to come to where he was. i nervously walked over to where he was.
" Do you want something to eat?" i asked him praying he would not say yes because the last soup in the fridge was what Olisa took to school and that meant i would have to start a new dish, why in the world did i answer the door bell. i could have just ignored.
"No" he responded to my relief. Whew.
"What about something to drink?" i asked knowing that would be easy, he loved Heineken and we had a full stock of that in the fridge by the bar.
"Nothing to drink thank you" he replied. Okay so why is he here? i became curious. He was looking at me in a funny way, i began to wonder what he was thinking,
"Madam traveled" i said.
" I am aware of that" he replied and smiled.
"Okay" i replied not knowing what else to say, there was an awkard silence and i almost caught myself scratching my hair.
"Can i ask you a question?" Chief Thompson asked me.
"Yes sir" i replied.
"Are you experienced?" he asked.
"What type of experience?" i replied, i hope this old man was not trying to be funny because i am good at putting people in their place.


Thursday, February 4, 2016

NGUYEN: WE ARE NOT RELATED

Nguyen is one of the most common Vietnamese names since i have lived in the United Statesn for over a decade. There young ladies were tired of getting asked questions like "Are you related?". It can be frustrating. When i was in high school, there was another girl in the same Year as i was who had the same last name, actually two, we were not at all related. These young ladies took to their Year Book to let their mates know they were not related.

Do you think this is cool or nah?
I love it.

History behind the last name
Many Vietnamese changed their name or were rewarded the honored name "Nguyen" during the Nguyen dynasty's rule, so a man who had his name changed, would marry a woman, who's name would now be Nguyen, who'd have many children, all of them all being Nguyen as well, and so on until now, many Vietnamese surname is Nguyen.


Culled from Yahoo and Reddit

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID 26

I was beyond humiliated. What was going on with Olisa? He had never spoken to me in that manner before. The worst part of it all was that i had to go and ask her what she would eat or drink after being embarrassed in front of her,. I ran into the kitchen and washed my face. I had to give myself a few seconds to breather before showing my face to Olisa and his female guest in the living room. I didn't want to hint that i was upset or anything close to that. Nothing like keeping a good composure, it would only keep them guessing and that was the plan.
I walked out of the kitchen down the hallway into the living room to ask what Olisa and his guest would want to eat or drink. She was sitting on the sofa beside Olisa but the body language was sour. Olisa was flicking channels on the TV with the remote control while she sat beside him scrolling through her phone.
"What would you like to drink?" i asked her. She raised her head and looked at me also giving a very twisted smile, the type of smile which says "great i am glad you remember that you are still a servant in this house".
"What is there to drink?" she said and gave a fake laugh. Olisa turned and looked at her. I had to stifle a giggle that was about to come out, was she acting a movie or something because she was beyond ridiculous?
"Water, orange juice, Coke" i said.
"Water is fine" Olisa answered dryly.
She smiled at me and rolled one of the curls in her hair with her left hand. For a second i thought she was possessed because she didn't seem to be the same person standing outside earlier
"A glass of orange juice with ice" she said and giggled.
"Serve her water please" Olisa said looking sternly at me. I looked at both of them, she turned to look at Olisa with a rather surprised look on her face. I hated awkward moments and this was certainly one of them,
"Water? Are you serious Olisa, i came all the way to your house to visit you and all you want to offer me is water?" She shouted angrily at him.
"I didn't invite you, i don't even know how you found your way here but you sure are not welcome here so if you don't take what is offered to you, you have the right to leave" Olisa said. She looked shaken. Her face fell, like she was about to cry. Olisa didn't seem bothered by what he said and how it made her feel. So she was not even invited to the house and she was at the door acting like she was a diplomats daughter, i wished so bad Olisa would give me the chance to disgrace her before leaving but he seemed to heated.In my head i rejoiced,this was pure victory.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID 25

After the kitchen incident, Adaeze avoided me like a plague. She was very cold to me and even though it made me feel uncomfortable, I felt it was one of the best things that had happened in a long time. There was no one to sneak in on me unexpectedly as if she was hoping to find me doing something wrong. I did my duties diligently. Ogochukwu had taught me how to use the washing machine and the dryer. I cooked delicious meals that I knew Lady J liked. It was her turn to host the next meeting and I was overwhelmed with shopping at the market, cleaning the house and cooking. Olisa also had a change in attitude towards me. He used to pop into the kitchen randomly to check on me , all that changed after the kitchen incident.
One Afternoon, I was folding clothes upstairs when I heard the doorbell ring. I went down the stairs. Olisa was watching television on the sofa with the remote control in his hand. I walked towards the huge front door and looked through the peephole. It was a young lady standing outside, I opened the door and she sized me up.
"Hello who are you here to see?." I asked. I had never seen her before today. Adaeze had gone back to campus and Ogochukwu hadn't been home in weeks.Maybe she was here to see Lady J.
"I am here to see Daniel " she responded. There was no one called Daniel who lived in this house. I looked T her from head to toe. She was wearing a mini skirt and a red top with the neckline plunging down to show cleavage. My mother told me to beware of people who came to look for non existent residents of homes because it was usually a plot to do something bad but she didn't look like one. Was there a way people who did bad things looked anyway?
"There is no one called Daniel here" I replied
"Are you kidding me.?'" she snorted with laughter. I was confused, what was she laughing at, myself or her rather confused confidence,
" There is no one called Daniel here" I replied flatly. All these lousy city girls with their fake gestures, fake hair, nails and eyelashes too. Her eyelashes looked like hair from parts of a vulture, her hair looked like horse whip with fray ends.
She turned around and pointed at Olisa's red Honda Accord
"That is Daniel's car" she replied
"Olisa ." I blurted out. Was his name Daniel? Or a name given to people like her so he couldn't be easily traced but because she is crazy she would have probably paid someone to get the address.
" Daniel " she corrected with an angry tone in her voice
"Well that is brother Olisa's car" I told her
" Is he at home or not?" She asked me with that same angry tone in her voice. What was she angry about anyway, she just got here and if Olisa was not within earshot I would have told her he was out of town. Let me see how she would enter the house looking like a scarecrow in that outfit .
"He is at home ,what is your name let me let him know you are here to see him?" I said to her. She looked at me and clapped her hands in disgust like those market women in my hometown when they were surprised at  behavior that was unknown to them.

"Well since he is at home, let me in then" she said.
"What is your name?" I said firmly. I was beginning to get angry.
"Tell him he has a guest" she replied and pulled out a cell phone from her purse. I didn't move an inch. She began to push some buttons on her phone and put the phone to her ear. I stood firm and looked at her while she mean mugged me as she waited for the person on the other end to answer, suddenly she began to speak
" Hello, Daniel!, I am outside your house and one idiot is here speaking English with me" she screamed into the phone. I watched in amazement as the scarecrow in my presence had the never to call me an idiot.
 She continued talking until i heard footsteps, Olisa was behind me.
"Whats going on here?" Olisa asked.
"She said she was looking for Daniel" i told him
"And she was very rude to me?" The scarecrow looking female yelled as she put her phone back into her purse.
"I was not rude to you,  asking questions is part of my job, you refused to tell me your name" i responded.
"Why would i tell a common servant like you my name? she said to me.
"Enough" Olisa said and looked at the both of us in disgust.
"Both of you go inside the house now" he told us. I didn't argue, i walked in, hot tears began to run down my cheeks

Monday, December 21, 2015

A QC MEMORY: A DRINK OF WATER

Boarders always made water seem like something out of an oasis. Surely. It seemed very precious to them especially cold water. As a day girl i was used to my fellow classmates who were boarders holding out cups begging for cold water to drink early in the morning and giving it to them was like a blessing. Water from home was unlike the dining hall water or any other place on campus and this  made Day girls prey to the thirsty boarders in the morning. There was this particular chic who was not so generous, she didn't seem to have compassion for those needy girls who begged for water, its like everyone expected her to say "no"so a lot of people gave up. No one even asked her for water. One day, it was time to go to the gym for P.E. Most of the girls in class left after changing into the PE outfits which consisted of white T shirts and shorts which were the colors of individual houses the student belonged to and left three girls behind. As soon as everywhere was quiet, the girl's laughed and this was the conversation that ensued between them.
"I guess i will take my time to get to the gym"said the first girl.
"I know" the second girl replied
"I am thirsty, i need to drink some water, who has water in this class?" the third girl said. The first girl struggled to take her shirt off revealing her black bra.
"There is water in the orange and white flask by the window, you know the owner is a miser" the second girl said.
"I don't understand why some people don't like to share, even to the point of ordinary drinking water," the third girl responded as she walked towards the location of the flask.
"You know what, lets finish the water," the second girl suggested.
"No, it would be too obvious, just drink to your heart's fill and i would spit inside the water," the first girl responded. The third girl opened the flask and poured out some water. The second girl went to her locker and brought out a blue cup.
"Pour some here, I will use it to soak garri later," she said as she handed the cup to the third girl who poured out some water. The first girl took the cup and poured some water into it and drank.
"Are you guys done with the water?" the first girl asked.
"Yes" the other two replied. The first girl spat inside the flask, shook the contents and covered it up. The three girls laughed.
"Watch, if you ask her for water, she will say no" the third girl said.
"You girls,lets go' the first girl said and the other two scrambled up their things and they walked out of the classroom towards the gym.

******************************************************************************
An hour later, most members of the class walked back to class. It was a relief and some girls sank into their seats, it was break time. Most of the girls started changing from their PE outfits back into their school uniforms. The owner of the flask went to her seat  not suspicious of anything. The three girls sauntered into the classroom laughing. The first girl walked to the owner of the orange and white flask that contained the water. The other two girls stood watching.
"Can i get a cup of water from you,' the first girl asked.
"No, i don't have enough water to give you" the flask owner replied.
"It's not fair oh, i haven't asked you for water at all this week, you have never given me water and see how I am begging you, its not fair" the first girl said. The flask owner said nothing, seeing the first girl was bent on getting some water she was forced to respond.
"Look, don't disturb me, I already said no" the flask owner responded as she took her flask which was sitting on the floor. She opened the flask and poured herself a cup to drink. She began to drink, the other two girls who were watching laughed. The first girl smiled contentedly. Mission accomplished!!!!!! In m my own opinion. Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

Evidence: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID

Ho Ho Ho !!! I myself never saw this coming but YES. I decided to make the first 20 parts into a short read on AMAZON. Wohoo. Thank you all amazing people who read this and comment. Nairalanders you are my biggest readers. Thank you all so much,
  The story will continue on the blog, The older parts in the book (Part 1-20) wont be available back on the blog until March 16 2016.
It will be free tomorrow  December 18 2015 on Amazon, feel free to download it. Thank you all so much.


CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID 24

I was stunned. It was the familiar voice of nobody else but Adaeze who seemed to manifest into places when she was least expected.
" I repeat what is going on here?"Adaeze repeated loud and clear as she walked towards us Olisa removed himself from my embrace.
"Nothing ma" I said as I put my hands nervously behind back.
"Nothing" she repeated and gave me unfriendly look.
"What do you want?" Olisa asked her coldly.
"What do I want?" she repeated his statement and cast a glance at me and then back at him. Last time i checked this is my house and i have the right to go anywhere i want" she replied.
"Okay supervisor since you are busy supervising the affairs of this house, you walked into an emotional moment"Olisa replied sarcastically.
"Olisa, you are crazy" Adaeze yelled.
"What's your problem, every time you snoop around the house expecting everyone to be afraid of you" Olisa said.
"Because you are in the kitchen romancing the maid and you just got caught and what did you buy for her anyway, what is in this bag" Adaeze said and snatched the bags that i put on the floor and opened it, Olisa looked angrily at her and snatched the bags from her.
"Mind your business Adaeze," he said as he snatched the bags from her. I was confused,my biggest fear was not both of them having a usual squabble but Lady D walking into the kitchen to meet the commotion.
"So you went to Sweet Sensation to buy food that the maid will cook for you," Adaeze sneered. She had seen the Sweet Sensations food bag.
"Adaeze what is your problem now?" Olisa asked angrily.
"You and Grace are my problem, don't you have a girlfriend on campus better than Grace, polished educated" Adaeze said in a tone that hit me down my spine.
"Is there anything wrong with me buying something?" I said all of a sudden. I found my voice and maybe I needed to start speaking up for things to change instead of just being an obedient servant as usual, not saying anything to avoid drama.
"Look at this shameless she goat, you are not even afraid to talk, you are over here in the kitchen getting remnants while he goes to school and hangs opened your legs already, this emotional embrace is just a revelation"
Olisa grabbed her by the neck and shoved her to the fridge. I gasped not knowing what to expect next, she kicked him to let him loose grip but he was stronger than that.
"Adaeze i know you can be really stupid sometimes , you can also be a snob, but let this be the last time you say any demeaning thing to Grace in my presence ever again" he said right in her face and loosened his grip on her neck and dropped her.
She dropped to the floor holding her neck. She looked at me angrily, Olisa took the bags he brought for me and walked out of the kitchen.




Thursday, December 10, 2015

FOR THE SAKE OF BRAZILIAN HAIR

So i have this friend, we were having a discussion one day and she was telling me about the guy she was dating and how conservative he was with money unlike most other guys she had dated. He told her that she had very expensive taste and tried to help her spend rationally. It is true sha... this my friend can spend money like she is drinking Eva water.
She told me that he said her "exotic weave" was expensive and it was better for her to get her natural hair done at the shop since it was long and luscious and that was where wahala started.
"Why is he telling me that my Brazilian hair is expensive, shebi he saw me with it the first day he met me and he liked it, now we are dating, ordinary eighty thousand naira to buy hair, he is telling me story, please there are other men out there willing to spend more on me, if he is not interested, he can leave"
I didn't even know what to say right after she made the comment because

1) They were in a committed relationship, He had already met with her parents, she already told him the type of ring she wanted, all that was left was the perfect proposal.
2) This chic was making six figures and had a steady job.
3) She is over thirty years old.

This brings me to my point. The first point made him a potential husband, not a boyfriend, not a chewing gum boy or boyfriend and he cared so much for her, he also tried to help her to be rational. This was my response to her.

"Darling if you have a good job and you are out of school and over thirty years old and you are crying because you did not get 80K to buy your weave and you want to leave a potential somebody, the juju somebody did for you must be working"
She didn't expect that response from me. We kept talking and then i explained it to her.
This is what i mean. We females were brought up under the notion that a man has to take care of our needs.
It is very correct.Keyword NEEDS not WANTS, even if it is wants, something he can afford. That is the role of a HUSBAND.
As a boyfriend, it is up to him to do that, he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to.
A man who loves his lady will show her that in a thousand ways and more. Ladies, pay attention to how he treats you, Exotic hair doesn't always prove love.
This is my fair judgement, if a woman is at least thirty years old, has finished school, has a job, she has no business begging a man to buy Brazilian, Malaysian, Chinese or whatever citizenship of hair she decides to put on her head. As a woman, hair is part of grooming, take great pride in maintaining your hair yourself, begging a man for money at that age to buy hair sounds to me like a man asking a woman money to cut his hair, i know in monetary value they are different but it sounds like that to me. Every relationship is different but while dating abeg do shakara small.

CHRONICLES OF A HOUSEMAID 23

I was taken aback by what i had just heard, was this man professing "like" to me. I looked at him, apart from poverty, we were not of the same social standing in any way.
"Thank you" was all i managed to say
"No be just thank you matter, i really like you" he said with a smile. I didn't want to start trying to figure out what he meant by liking me.
"Okay Sunday, i have heard" i told him. It was the best way to end awkward conversations without getting into arguments.
"Grace, i never tell you this kind thing before, but i want make you believe anything i tel you, Sunday said to me in the calmest voice  i have ever heard him use to speak.
"Sunday please i have things to do, i need to go inside" i told him impatiently. I was tired of hearing his "like" story which was leading to nowhere.
"No vex" he said looking like his feelings were hurt. Just simple reverse psychology which would not work for me.
"Lets talk later" i told him. He didn't say anything, instead he put his hands in his pocket and walked away. I looked at him as he walked away,

***************************************************************
Olisa came home this afternoon, he seemed very happy to see me. He greeted me warmly when i opened the door and went to see his mom and his sisters. I was mopping the kitchen floor when he came in with two bags.
"Grace, how are you?" he asked me looking into my eyes. He was wearing a baby blue polo shirt and navy blue jeans.
"I am fine Olisa, how are you doing? How is school? I asked.
"I am doing well, i brought this for you" he said and handed two bags to me which i nervously took from him.
"What is this for?" I asked him without looking at the content of the bags.
"A token of appreciation" he said and smiled. I opened the first bag, it contained food from Sweet Sensations. The second bag had new clothes with tags on them.
"Thank you for the food, but i cannot take the clothes" i replied.
"Why?" he asked, his facial expression had changed from straight up excited to puzzled.
"It is just a present" he said and looked into my eyes, i did not want to hurt his feelings but i know i already did.
"Any other thing but not clothes, they are expensive too, those are boutique clothes, where would i wear them to" i asked.
"You can wear them when you are off work, i just wanted to do something nice for you" he said.I began to feel like an ingrate of some sort.
"I really appreciate it Olisa but what have i done to deserve clothes" i asked him, sometimes things like this would end up having a form of payment due.
"Nothing, just being graceful" he said and began to walk away like he had just lost a battle. I didn't know what to do or even tel him but i also didn't want him to leave the kitchen sad.
"Wait Olisa, thank you so much, i truly appreciate the gesture" i said to him.
"Its okay, i just wanted to surprise you,but instead i ended up surprising myself" he said.
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I hugged him and surprisingly he hugged me back too, We held each other.
The kitchen door opened, before i could react, a female face appeared shocked looking at both of us locked in an embrace.
"What is going on here?"