Tuesday, August 16, 2011


It is summer, it does get boring, these books are worth your time, so if you can spend time reading this week, these are my suggestions.



Sunday, August 14, 2011




George slowly began to change in the course of our two year relationship. He started slipping up here and there. I didn’t know what to do. I was not paranoid. I just wanted to let things take their natural course. He may have been worrying about something or he  may have been going through something at that time, sometimes its good to allow a man some space but looking back I gave him waaaayyyyyyyyyyy too much space. It began with not spending time together anymore like before we used to play tennis every Saturday morning, all of a sudden he either came home pretty late or past midnight on Friday/ Saturday and gave me that “I am tired” story which  was beginning to get played out in my ears but I was not going to try to change the situation. As an adult a man is free to make whatever decision he wants and also live with the consequences. He also started stepping away from me to take phone calls, he became so protective of his phone that it literally sickened me, his phone was always on vibrate and he jumped scaring the skin off my bones every time that phone vibrated. I never questioned him or asked him why. I knew that time would tell. Nagging or whining was one vice that I refused to give in to.  He stopped texting me, you know those random texts during the day from a loved one to show that they are thinking of you. I also never questioned him or asked him why. He always found an excuse not to see me, either work or hanging with the boys or just some lame excuse. It hurt but in order to keep myself from pinning over him I just found something to do around my condo, I painted my living room and changed everything in my bathroom, I also decided to be less and less available to him also. I gladly accepted a girl’s weekend out with my friends Tracy and Neisha. I wanted to go on a cruise so bad but I couldn’t afford it yet. I had bills to pay and other responsibilities.It never crossed my mind that he was cheating, he was pretty decent but I never put anything past any man, I had no evidence only symptoms of a man suffering  from a guilty conscience.He never said anything, I never asked any questions, things just slowly began to change and for once I actually accepted it.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


                                                                                                  August 3rd 2011
My darling,
I saw you leave the bank last week and i couldnt help but notice how beautiful you have become since the last time we spoke and saw each other. I really do miss you a lot, your companionship, the laughter, your generosity, and your good cooking I know things didnt end on a good note especially because of the lady i had been seeing at the time. I cant blame you for the decision you made, i wasn't faithful to you and i wasn;t man enough to leave. She wasn't the best thing that happened to me either because she could not fill the void you left. We broke up already. I know there are still some things that tie us together, i run into your sister Eva every now and then and your mom, they are so nice to me, i dont know if you ever told them and if you didn't i respect you for that. I tried calling you but it seems you have changed your number, but since you didnt change your address, i decided to send this to you.
                         Love George.

Crumbling this letter would be the best thing i have done in 2011. Does George actualy have the nerve to send me a letter after all these months. Is he kidding me? Now that she is gone, he wants to come back. You never miss a good thing till it leaves you, now he is realizing that he wants me back. Yes, he was in a relationship with me and dating a chic called Regina.  Yes, i said so, ask me how i found out???

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


And why do i have the gut feeling that he is trying to ask for more money in the offering basket. WHy is he talking about money? What is the purpose of this sermon? The church is packed full and the offereing basket will not hold less than four hundred dollars on this hot, Sunday afternoon. I probably need to listen and stop letting my mind wander off to inconseqential things.

"Craving things has also become part of our nature these days, we want the flat screen television set, the latest I phone...."
Just right when he said that, i clutched to my Iphone, why was the pastor talking about mateial possessions in church and i have to ask myself why i have a problem with what the pastor is preaching.

"The problem with this is that there is no satisfaction, every year, a new product comes out, there is always a new model for a every car, every year, why, because there are new accesories in the car that you will need to buy. Yes and No. Yes, there might be new additions. No because you are going to start having new debt.A debt you dont need.We are struggling to feed our families and pay the little utility bills that keep coming in the mail unfailingly every month. i know a lady who used her rent money to go shopping for clothes, that woll show you the level of one's priorities. clothing is a neccesiity but why would you use your shelter money to buy clothes you dont need. I am sure you are uncomfortable in the pews but this message is for everyone. It applies to everyone in the building right now including myself, people come up to me telling me that they cannot pay their PGE bill and sometimes the church will wrtie out checks to pay these bills for our congregation members, but that wont last long.

This must be a generous church. The church helps some people pay their PGE bill. I have some credit card bills that need to be paid. Do i turn them in to be paid for as well; maybe out of pity the church can pay my car note as well.

"It will not last long: it is different if you really have the need but if you keep putting yourself in a situation that you can avoid, i will have no other term for that but pure foolishness. i believe we should pray for wisdom everyday. Amen"

Everyone said "Amen" after him too. I think he has made his point.