The marriage topic is interesting an can also be sensitive too. Lately most couples have been making unanimous decisions to get married and thereby increasing the amount of ankara i have decide to accumulate as aso ebi in my closet. It is a blessing to support couples who have made the big decision to do life together forever but really how long is that forever. Apart from the vows one will give at the altar "for better for worse" "for richer and for poor" "in sickness and in in health", "till death do
us (them)part, how many of these vow actually last forever. I don't know if some people actually sit down to think out the significance of these vows before getting married or are those words just part of the ceremony, it is a question because nowadays ladies are most especially interested in getting the ring, putting on a dress and having a grand wedding reception and dealing with the real meaning of the vows later. If he/she experiences job loss, will you be there? If the spouse becomes disfigured through an accident, will the love remain undying.In times of adversity, the true character of a person comes out.
Looking back at my parents and grandparents generation and doing statistics or mathematics, whichever one is correct, 96% of the married couple in their time are still together and the 2% experienced divorce, the other 2% experienced death that did them part. So why is our generation experiencing a higher rate of divorce,to the point that celebrity couples will no longer be role models for me(they have never been anyway),our generation is failing at this thing seriously, i don't know the secret to generations past but i think we need to buckle up if not we will have no legacy to leave for our own kids. The effort to make a marriage work has to come from both parties and back then i believe that if a marriage did not work it was the woman's fault because she had to keep her man and home together, nowadays neither party cared about who made it work or not, in the Western world if a marriage did not work, the man would move out of his own house and the woman would be accommodated in the house and her expenses will be taken care of in the form of alimony.As far back as i know divorce was rare, death was the ultimate dissolution of marriage. Couples were faithful, vows were revered so why is this generation that has smartphones, Google and wireless devices failing in the institution called marriage. But Why??
I would venture to say that decades back people stayed together out of necessity. Men having babies out of wedlock was frowned upon and women weren't going to college or working enough to hold down a household. Men still had mistresses and beat their wives and acted a plum fool as much as they do today. But as a woman it was either stay and deal with it or leave and be shamed and probably homeless. Not much of a choice. Nowadays people are far less willing to deal with unnecessary nonsense. Couple that with people who rush into marriage without having any idea what it truly entails, without actually wanting to be married, and with people they don't really feel for...and you get the divorce rates of our current time. That's my take at least.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ngo, that is really a great way to look at things. Now with women empowerment, most women are independent and wont put up with a man's crap.
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